Carrying the Bride Over the Threshold
This was done to protect the bride from any evil spirits which may be hiding beneath the threshold. The groom would carry his beautiful bride to safety and happiness so they could start their new lives together.


Shivare:
This custom dates back from the Middle Ages. A group of friends would gather and bang on pots and pans, shoot off guns, etc. to disturb the newlywed couple on their wedding night.



In South Africa,
both bride's and groom's parents carried a fire from the hearths of their own homes and took this fire to the new couple's home to begin the fire in their home.


 

Transition
After the enchantment of the wedding and the honeymoon, reality of the “normal life” is brought forward. While you want to languish out the special feelings and memories, it is also a time to balance out routine with discovery of a new life. You’ve had the wedding. Now, you are beginning a marriage. This transitional period is the beginning of personal growth and discovery. Even so, a couple must intertwine a sense of rejuvenated love and charm amongst the daily routines of life. This creates a stronger bond and outlasts the dreaminess. With the use of traditions and placing importance on the recognition of special events and rituals, your married life will hold more joy in your lives.

There will be highs and lows during the transition time as well as in many phases of your married life. To counter this, it sometimes helps to use your memorabilia as a therapeutic means to sustain your relationship. Get back to the basics, so to speak. Even so, the expectations that you and your mate have will require a reality check periodically. If one expects too much or places a higher value on things, then disillusion is felt and the intensity of the situation will depend on how you cope. External factors such as other people will also evolve. These intrusions can create emotional conflicts between the two of you. Recognize such events and conduct an open discussion.

You will soon discovery that the relationship has now changed. There are responsibilities and the pressures of daily living. Courtship was a time of fun and enjoying each other’s company without total obligation. While this is still important in a marriage, you become inundated with chores, paying bills, maintaining a household and solving problems. You are now “husband and wife”.

Hold on to the blissfulness of your life changing decision, yet encounter all that it holds for further, personal growth together as one. Keep the “honeymoon” going, yet work together towards change and a deeper level of commitment.

The 1st Year of New Life
Each Month of the 1st Year.......for each “monthly anniversary” date, plan a special celebration, outing, dinner or event. Make the evening special no matter what day it falls on. Use your toasting glasses and wedding napkins (if any remain). Purchase special, trinket gifts for each other!

Make a Time Capsule! Include......Reception souvenirs such as your wedding napkin, place cards, match books, program, photos, rice bag, etc.  Write down a few notes about your wedding gown, how it was special and it made you feel wearing it.
Notes about.... Date first met - Date & Time of 1st Date - Date of engagement/proposal - Date obtained license
Understand the term “commitment” and come up with identifiers and key phrases--write on poster board.


Rule Words to Live By
Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always Perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7


Growth & Discovery
During arguments:
• Be open and honest about your feelings
• Don’t presume the feelings or expectations of your partner—ask
• Consult with others in an appropriate manner with the ultimate decision being made by you. Be careful about disclosing issues that only you and your partner need to discuss.
• Let go of mistakes—learn from mistakes and allow them to be the “stepping stones” towards growth.
Now's the time to break out that pre-recorded tape of special music! Or, tape record (cassette or CD) your favorite music shared with your partner which best indicates the times of falling in love and special memories for each year.
Marriage renewal classes can maintain that special bond between a couple. Offer to volunteer to assist in marriage enrichment classes for soon-to-be couples
Agree to know that it is ok to Disagree with each other.
Always say "thank you", Always say "I'm sorry", Always Forgive

 
Frame your Wedding napkin

Have your Wedding Vows Framed for the wall
Make a list or tape record the favorite songs that the two of you shared while dating. Especially record songs that have a special meaning to you both. Reminiscence the good times or play them when a “tiff” breaks out.

Have a “Photo Party” once your wedding photos have arrived. Share a “open house” with friends and family.

Decorate a shadow box to include various items you use in the time capsule. Also include a photo and flowers from your bouquet. Use fabric from your bridesmaids dresses and veil.


Grand Traditions
Purchase a guest registry book for your new home and every time you have guests (friends and family too) have them sign and date. Include the purpose of the visit when special events arise. This is a wonderful tradition to start, even with informal visits!

Reuse your Wedding Cake Knife and Toasting Glasses on special occasions and holidays for cake cutting (monthly or yearly anniversaries and child's first birthday)

Embroidery your wedding date on your Wedding Handkerchief and frame it. Save for your child to one day embroidery their wedding date

Have a FAMILY Birthday
Once children become part of your lives, your wedding anniversary may turn into a birthday party “for your family life.” Baking a “wedding” cake, adding candles and inviting other family members and friends over to celebrate the birth of your “family” is a special event for the children.

Use your Unity candle each Christmas for a special family prayer

Make it a date! Choose a day of the week to attend a weekly (or monthly) “family style” meal. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean that you have to stop dating!
Have a "mystery date"--alternate between the two of you in who decides where you go and what activities the date involves (do this on the anniversary of first meeting each others).

Like the Wedding Time Capsule, make a special capsule for EACH year of marriage. Include special event mementoes that hold significant memories. Share with your children or at your 25th wedding anniversary

Prominently display your personal wedding memorabilia, photos, marriage certificate, etc.
Plant shrubs, trees, or vines each year that you are married. Designate the planting of such for the birth of a child.

If you created a Wedding Web Site, update it with wedding photos and special messages for those in far away places who could not attend. Update the web site as you life progresses. Include genealogy information, the birth of a child and other special celebrations. Be sure to store the information on CD or a disk. Keep your wedding and your life alive!

Make a sachet out of your Wedding Purse for your lingerie drawer or closet. Soak cotton balls with your favorite perfume.

New Year Photo Homage
Start as newly weds, snapping a photo of yourselves on New Year's Eve. Date the photo with a permanent marker or hold up a sign with the date and a message on it. The yearly tradition is hopeful that once children arrive, they too are included. See how your family developes and changes throughout the years!




FUN THINGS to do
A Soaking of Two Souls Bath
Meet at a Hotel for brunch
Go Restaurant shopping—choose a different restaurant each time you go out
Go Window Shopping—Dream Search
Have Banana Split Night
 

INVENT HOLIDAYS
As newlyweds, you design the way you want your family to grow and the values you want to pass down throughout the years with your children. They can also be fun and silly as well as special remembrance and being helpful to others. Celebrate with wacky holidays that you invent. Create a calendar for the year. Holidays you invent might include: Ice Cream Sunday-Day, Help at the Soup Kitchen Day, Old Movie Day, Silly String War Day, etc.



Always be a Bride & Groom!

valerie.tillery@gte.net